My Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) Journey
I share my traumatic brain injury (TBI) experiences in hopes it may help support you either in your TBI journey, or to help you understand that brain injuries can be happen in various ways.
Traumatic Brain Injuries (TBIs), Acquired Brain Injuries (ABIs), concussions and other brain injuries can be “invisible” as often there are no scars or casts/bandages indicating something is broken or someone is healing … and many people don’t understand what’s different or what’s wrong.
Dealing with a TBI can feel isolating, lonely and frustrating… know you are not alone.
Please reach out for support.
This is my Story
November 2012 while trekking to Everest Base Camp with family and friends, I got a TBI! I was healthy but High Altitude Cerebral Edema (HACE - is a life-threatening form of altitude sickness where your brain swells when you reach high altitudes) hit me at 17,500 ft. - 1 day away from ‘base camp’. Suddenly a debilitating migraine, exhaustion, nausea, loss of balance, vision impairment, confusion hit. I was given meds, continually monitored for oxygen levels, was in a portable hyperbaric chamber for hours. My husband had to wake me every 1/2 hour throughout the night to check my oxygen stats.
The symptoms and pain were severe, but I was determined to complete this once in a lifetime experience with my husband, our 3 daughters and friends.
With a lot of help, support, and sherpa guides supporting me under each arm with slow steps, mindful breathing, focused determination, and my family’s love and support I made it to base camp!
Returning home and to work impaired symptoms continued affecting concentration, communications, comprehension and work performance. I could not sleep, and anxiety and frustration sky-rocketed.
Doctors told me to continue living life and things should get better. I struggled and my family struggled - we didn’t know what to do or who to turn to in my plea to get back to ‘being me’.
In the fall of 2017, feeling many of my continual TBI symptoms seemed to settle somewhat and I felt more ‘functional’ with my brain injury changes from the last few years. The magic of Nepal, its people, culture, magnificent terrain and majestic mountains lured my husband and me back. Doctors and specialists all said it would be fine … but it wasn’t!
At 14,000 ft. I was awoken by another surprisingly quick onset of HACE symptoms and chest pain. Feeling worse than 5 years earlier I was immediately air-vacced down to Kathmandu where I spent 3 days in hospital and another 10 days trying to acclimatize and settle symptoms.
My vision was blurry, I had lost my depth perception, and could not walk or even manage stairs without assistance. Could not eat; had terrible light and sound sensitivity, severe migraines, ear pain and wanted to sleep all the time. This second traumatic brain injury rocked my world.
It was a very difficult, frustrating and challenging time.
I tried desperately to push through and get back to ‘who I was’ and the things I’ve always done.
What I didn’t know was… not listening to my body, and my drive to try to control the uncontrollable delayed my progress and healing significantly!
I could not function and unable to work. My days and months following were filled with sleeping - that’s all my body could do.
Doctors didn’t know what was wrong or how to help. My limitations, severe migraines, light/sound sensitivity, depth perception / problems going down stairs, my inability to comprehend, follow or find words to have a conversation or even to follow instructions (like a recipe) were monumental.
I was forced to retire from my corporate job and I grieved the loss of ‘my identity’ as a hardworking, proactive problem solver.
I was exhausted, demoralized and became reclusive. Friends, family and doctors were frustrated, too. Those that had experienced TBIs understood and became my lifeline. Many others disconnected and disappeared.
The beginning of my healing started when I found a local yoga studio that focused on healing movements. The owners were amazingly supportive and had me lay in savasana (laying on my back on the mat with supports and blankets) for the entire class for about 8 months.
As my body and mind began to relax after a couple of months, I could slowly begin to feel my body starting to feel safe in these classes and I started noticing my body’s reaction and settling (its whispers) as it began to trust me by resting - that was my first (and pivotal) step on my long healing journey.
My awareness, connection and support of my body and the impact of choices I make are part of who I am now. Yes, symptoms can still be triggered but I have many tools to help me live my best life. Yoga and rest were pivotal and life-changing in a very positive way.
In March 2023 I had a motor vehicle accident re-triggering my TBI symptoms. I took time off teaching yoga and minimized commitments to focus on healing. In July 2023 I was in another accident (that drove the left side of my head into the windshield of a boat at a very high speed when it stopped suddenly after hitting a submerged rock).
Symptoms intensified.
My awareness / self-kindness reconnected and grew.
When the body trusts our intentions ~ it settles and heals.
I continue to connect with my body’s whispers. I strive to be kind and gentle with myself and my healing needs. I strive to soften and balance my ‘drive / push’ and invite in ease and breath, and support myself with ‘self-talk; self-care; self-love’.
Pain is normal - it can be reduced and eradicated when you become aware with tools and skills - like learning to move in a range where pain does not exist in order to move forward and allow the body to soften and open into larger movement with increased strength.